So I pulled an extra long shift yesterday helping out on one of the machines printing some sort of clothing catalogue. At one point I glanced at a page of the catalogue and read "There's no excuse for not looking greek." Yeahhh... Greeks are cool. (2 minutes later) Wait. Whut? (re-reads) Oh. Looking GREAT. Yeah. That makes more sense.

Um. How would one look greek, anyway?

Here is a summary of the week thus far.

Times I've caught someone at work singing "Pants on the ground" : 4
Times I've been caught singing "Pants on the ground" : 1
Days it took me to get the song out of my head after googling it: 2
Times I've seen some guy who needs to listen to that song : 2

Times my younger co-worker ("Skinny") has been teased by older co-workers: 5
Times "Skinny" has responded to teasing by calling coworkers gay. : 5
Times "Skinny" has made a remark about himself that makes calling him gay far too easy. :6
Times "Skinny" has boasted about his genitals: 6 (see above)
Times I needed to hear about Skinny's genitals : 0

Times dispatch manager has gone mad : 2
Times dispatch manager has blamed his madness on working here: 2
Years dispatch manager has worked here: 12
Years I suspect dispatch manager has been mad: 11 & 10 months.

Times dispatch asst manager has walked past talking on cellphone: 6
Times dispatch asst manager has walked past: 6

Okay, so over the last few months I've been wallowing in emo-bluesy-gloomy-wangst. But no more! (He says, optimisitically). Although right at this moment, I'm in deeper crap than ever, I'm going to be utterly naively positive, Dammit! (Seriously, I'm not going to survive it, otherwise)

Gonna greet the dawn with a fixed smile and look on the bright side! Yup, definitely. Yeah. *deep breath*

Well, it's worth a shot. Truth, last week is better forgotten about, but so far this week, it's looking slightly better.  Would be even more so if certain bosses just hurried up and hired me permanently, Yes, I'm looking at you, buddy!!! But at least I'm working full-time.

One fine morning at work this week, (around 6am-ish) I caught myself humming "Hey Jude" by the Beatles. Not sure how that earworm got there, but hey. Soon that morphed in my head to "Hey Dude" and led to me wandering around for at least half an hour muttering "Whoooaaaah... Juuudeee." in a Stoner-surfer voice.

Then I tried to imagine what a Beach Boys cover of "Hey Jude" would sound like.

Note to self. Get more sleep.

So it's 2010 already.  We're rapidly overtaking the classic sci-fi movies/comics and yet lagging far behind in the promised technologies.

Where's my personal robot, dammit? And my flying car? And... bah.

On other news, I was re-reading my copy of Dune the other day (well, a couple of weeks ago, I'm behind here)- a sci-fi classic that overcomes the year 2000 hiccup by being set way, way, way in the future. (Like maybe year 300,000 or something, not really sure) and realised I've never really managed to read the others in the series as much. I rely on libraries quite a lot and it's so difficult to track down a whole series. Anyway, I spontaneously decided to take myself down to the local second-hand bookstore to see if, perchance they had the others.

And they did. Most of them, anyway. FYI, there are six official books in the series written by the author, and about another seven or so "prequels" and fillers added by his son. (Way to cash in, buddy.)

My budget did not allow me to clear the shelves at that point, but I departed the store with 1) the next two in the series after my own - in the same dust-jacket artwork too! and 2) a customer loyalty card for the store  3) a minor crush on the cute bookish girl behind the counter.

The next weekend I picked up the next two books in the "prequel" trilogy" as I already had the first one of that, too. Next on the agenda (assuming they are still there) I will try for the next three in the main series. Then track down the pre-prequels and, Um, still with me? I could do a flowchart, if you like.

And I recently found out there may be some more lurking about, too. Suddenly feel the need to own them allllll.... *sob* 

Saw this, lol'd. Had to share.


see more Celeb Look-A-Likes

Well, that was a weekend and a half. I worked both days - extra Temp work for Xmas - and went and saw a movie on the Saturday night. So that was seven days straight of working - and I'm still going. Yeah, well, it pays the bills. And the movie was Avatar and I saw it with mr_razorz  at the 10.40pm session and it was awesome. Although I now think of it as "Dances with (Alien) Wolves" and suspect Greenpeace may have funded it. :) Yeah, it was chock-full of cliche and telegraphed plot turns but I liked it and give it an 8/10. Yup. And also...  ( Spoiler alert! ) But I have slept (a little now) and only have a couple more days of work and then can sleep in. Oh yeah, and there's the christmas thing too, I suppose.

Okay, so them at the place I've been working at have finally made a decision. As of next year, I will be permanently employed. (yays) but not as a driver, (boos) as a storeman. Well, cool, I ain't complaining much. There's a bit of tangled goings-on in there that I may explain soon, but simply - I'm going to have a real job.

If my lack of squeeing at this shows, I think it's mainly because a) I'm really really exhausted. Two months or so of 50hr weeks really drains you. And b) there has been so much will-they-won't-they that I'm saving my squeeing till I get the contract in hand. At the moment, I have a uniform shirt - which is halfway there.

I just... yeah. I don't know. Feel kind of numb and still mostly broke and still have to survive the no-pay-over christmas (should scrape though) so no real yays-my-life-is-changed just yet, but still, there is hope.

Man, I'm tired. And I'll be working all weekend too, because I need the cash for christmas and the temp agency needs someone awesome to help out at this other place.

Oh yeah, I worked at this other place last weekend too, and they said if the lot I'm currently with didn't make me a firm offer, to call them.

Yeah, I rock.

*thud* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Well, not wanting to be too optimistic at this point, but there is some shuffling going on in the workplace that makes it seem more likely that I will get permanent work at this place. Seems their own stores guy has had his work visa expire and won't be able to work legally for them for another seven weeks or so, until they sort it out. And they're so unhappy with his general performance that they may not exactly hurry about it, or put him back in that position if they do keep him on.
So, Vacancy! Yeah. And me with stores experience, too, and impressing the heck out them with my work ethic and general awesomness. :)

Actually, it looks like they'll keep me on as a driver, cos I don't moan about doing the long hours (have no life to intefere with) which suits me fine, cos I like getting out and about, (and the long hours are keeping me financially just ahead of the thin doom line...)

So, stay tuned. Here's hoping for an early christmast pressie from work. :)

- So, I saw a bumper sticker type thing on a car ahead of me today: "If you're reading this, I've lost the boat!!!" Could be funnier if the car actually had a towbar.

- Got stuck in a major downpour today. The Van's windscreen wipers were working so hard they were actually flinging sluices of water into the lane next to me. Impressive.

- Seriously, why is every fricking radio station on the dial trying to play me the (alleged) recording of Tiger Woods on his Mistress's answerphone??? I have no desire to know or hear of this!?!?!?!111!

- Honestly, hearing female radio DJ drooling over Robert Patterson is creepy and scary. Apparently it is officially known as "Robsession". I'd wish for Buffy to take the dude out, but she'd probably shag him too. Hmm.. Buffy v Bella... hmm...

-

Okay, so the latest update goeth thusly: The folks at the job I am hoping will become permanent all want me, but management is worried that the New Year will not be busy enough to keep me on.
So I am back in limbo again, with no certainty or assurance that I will be working after Christmas.

Bah humbug. I can understand the reasoning, but I am severely destabised emotionally by this. I just can't take more uncertainty. For pities sake, people, just make a decision!!!

Agh. I really don't know if I will be able to deal with it if they decide not to keep me. Am feeling mighty blue about the future right now.

Well, the new job still doesn't suck, though it is getting a bit tiring. Pulling an average of 10 hours a day behind the wheel, and doing about 200km a day in driving. Still get to meet a lot of cute receptionists interesting people.

And I may perhaps be getting better living arrangements soon. Turns out that my Dad is a landlord of sorts for a small 2-bedroom flat not far from here, and it is coming available after christmas. Really really want to go solo in it myself, but will probably have to get in a roommate. So hoping to find a friend looking for digs - so over sharing with strangers. So over sharing, quite frankly but new job does not pay that much more.

And wondering if new abode is okay with pets. Not that I have pets, not that I can afford pets, but I wants one, precious, yes I does. Put it on the to do list.

Anyway, there it is. Oh, and Father just got back from overseas trip and brought back baby photos of my new niece. 6 months new and already figured out how to be cute. (Actually suspect this is instinctive.) But quick question to the flist. Is "Poppy" an okay name for a child? Seriously, I could take it as a nickname, but as a real name? Or is it just me? Lucky she's cute, it'll probably grow on me. *shrugs*

- A bit of newspammery: I've been joking about this happening for a while, but now it actually has.  The ads lied!

- Also, Spice Girls reform for a farewell tour. Wait what?

- Also, I have seen a number of businesses in my time, named after the family ie "Joe Bloggs & Sons." This is very traditional, but rarely tells you what they do. A while back, I saw a business called "Baigent & Daughters" which I thought was kind of cute. Briefly imagined a Disney-like scenario where Father wants to pass on the business, but has no sons and after much drama and stubborn sexism eventually becomes reconciled to daughters, passes business onto them and much tears are jerked. (not in a rude way)
Yeh, I'm kind of soppy like that. Anyway, just this week delivered some stuff to a place called "Smith & Nephew" Kid you not. This is either really touching or desperate. Not sure which.

- It is now officially illegal for you to drive while holding & talking on a cellphone in NZ. Well, it always was, technically, but apparently it was too much paperwork to bother prosecuting. Now, it is instantly fineable. As a person who is driving a lot and recieving calls quite regularly from the depatcher, I have invested in a hands-free headset thingy. Actually, I did this earlier than I needed to, because, frankly, I can't drive & hold a cellphone at the same time. Seriously, manual transmission, city traffic, I'm changing gears every other minute, dodging mad drivers and I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS DAMMIT!!! 
Some fools are claiming they're gonna keep using 'em no matter what, and consider themselves some sort of anti-establishment heroes.
Well, my van is bigger'n their BMW, so they'de better stay clear of me, that's all I'm sayin.

- I turned 36 today, and barely noticed. Low budget, procrastination and low expectations means same 'ol same ol. Anyway, no biggie, this aging thing is a piece of cake, could do it in my sleep. Sigh.

- Been taking some photos on an old-school (ie, actual film) camera. Sorta. Originally using my Dads 30+year old one, but it's not winding on properly. Now using cheapo plastic 10+year old one I got in my twenties. If they actually come out, I might post one or two. If.

- They're talking of doing an NZ version of The Apprentice. Our local Trump-to-be is.... um, some property tycoon. Apparently we have a couple. And he owns a football team. That's Soccer Football, not the other kind. Apparently we have one of those, too. Um, don't know his name, but he's really big in the business world. Oh yeah, and he has real hair, too. Bonus.

I love my temp agency, really I do. I mean, I would not have been eating, paying rent etc without them this past year, but communication, sometimes is lacking.

I had been wondering what progress had been made re: making my current made-of-win job permanent, and now discover that much agreements have already been made. It seems that in order to take me on without paying a hefty fee, current made-of-win bosses must keep me on with temp agency until December 16, then I can switch over a free man. They have agreed to do this.

AND NO ONE TOLD ME!!?!?!?!

On the plus side, I is going to be a permanent staffer here. And Christmas presents include nice pay hike and overtime rates.

AND THE PLACE SHUTS DOWN OVER CHRISTMAS, SO I WON'T HAVE TO WORK!!111!!

I is a happy Book Eater.

And tomorrow I will be going to "Armageddon" which is our local form of NerdFest ie, comics, sci-fi etc etc convention.

The brochure has a small ad from a video shop declaring the top 5 reasons why Star Trek is better than Star Wars. Now, I like both of 'em, personally, but swing towards SW because it has Jedi and R2D2 is cuter than Data.

So, I will debate their list herewith:

5 - Much less brother-on-sister action. 
      Well, true, but between Kirk, Riker and the rest, it's probably the only action that was missed out on. And it was just one make-you-jealous kiss.

4 - Spocks Eyebrow.
     Okay, I will see you one eyebrow and raise you Solo's quirky grin. And who would you rather have at the Helm, Solo or Sulu?

3- Star Trek can do prequels, Star Wars can't.
     B-but Yoda-with-a-lightsaber! *lip quiver* Kick your ass, he will!

2-Klingons v Ewoks? Klingons.
    I dunno. Ewoks kicked Stormtrooper ass pretty good. And they're pretty much Tribbles with spears, so I'm not gonna rule them out. Anyway, let's make it fair. Klingons v Wookies. I'm gonna go for the Wookies.

1- William Shatner. Nuff said.
   Um. Damn, you took my point. Harrison Ford. Nyah.

Okay, so I get to deliver quite a range of various, printed materials to various locations around the city. This company does everything from magazines to those printed sheets they put on the trays in fast food joints.

Today - I was delivering the spring catalogues to a chain of lingerie stores. This caused a fair amount of initial awkwardness on book_eaters part, you understand. Part of this is the natural fear of any male entering such a bastion of female territory without an escorting female to justify his presence. Had to resist ostentatiously flourishing the package in order to say "See? I have legitamate business here and am not a creepy pervy type!" And part of it was simply being surrounded by girls undies. Where do you look, f'godssake?

And in one shop, their back room was concealed behind a semi-secret panel which had nurse and schoolgirl fetish outfits hanging on the outside. Only my glasses kept my eyes from bugging out. I kid y'not. Yeesh. Still, think I managed to carry it off with dignity... I think.

Odd things come to mind. Like how come all the advertising material seems to suggest that a common female pastime is getting together with her friends, stripping to the undies and (apparently) telling jokes to each other? I mean, I understand that women do like to talk and chat and etc, but I really doubt they do it in a state of undress. I could be wrong, though. I suspect that it is clever marketing, yet who is it trying to appeal to?

Other odd thought. A whole store totally devoted to female underwear. Actually, in most of the malls, there were about three separate chains. Yet males have only one section of your regular deparment store. Not that I'm complaining, because personally, that's about all I need, but still. It's an interesting statement re: gender differences.

And last thought. Never skip lunch when you're driving a lot. Nothing to do with the above, but I completely lost track of time till about 2.00 in the afternoon and boy was I fuzzy. Not good when you're driving a big heavy vehicle. Just sayin'

Scene: The chapel of St Colin. (Patron Saint of Blokes). The stained glass windows feature sports scenes and many of the wall hangings appear to be team banners. Book_eater makes his way to the confessional and sits down.

Book_eater: Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Priest: Tell me, my lad.

Book_eater: This week, father. I... I have asked for directions. um... Twice.

Priest: ..... (sound of shuffling)

BE: um... father?

Priest: Sorry, my boy, that was me reeling in shock. Directions, you say?

BE: um, yes. You see, I had to make a delivery, and I found it okay in the map, but when I got there, the place wasn't clearly marked, so...

P: You read the map?

BE: um. yes?

P: My son, this is quite serious. Does it not say in the book of Hezekiah, that a man ought not to seek guidance for his path from temporal sources, for the Lord has lain in the heart of every true man the knowledge of his steps? And that he who relies on the directions of his fellow man is a faithless girly-boy?

BE: um. does it?

P: Hell, I have no idea. My Bishop once told me that the Bible is our Instruction Book for life and I haven't read it since. Real men don't need instructions!

BE: Um. Oh yeah,... right, right. Don't need them. Yeah.

P: Oh. Don't tell me....

BE: Well, I wanted to change the pre-sets on the Van radio, and...

P: And you didn't think of just fiddling with it till you figured it out?

BE: Well, sure but it didn't get me anywhere and I was stuck on the sports talkback channel, and...

P: And you wanted to change it???

BE: shit um... yes?

P: Oh, my son. (sadly) I fear you linger on the brink. Turn back now or risk your manhood.

BE: (a little miffed) You know, that's a little rich coming from a guy in a dress.

P: I will have you know this is a Robe. Or a cassock... vestment? I really never figured out the difference, honestly.

BE: (mutters) mu-mu

P: Anyway, I'm wearing trousers under it, so it doesn't count.

BE: (darkly) Yeah, that look is sooo last season, you know.

P: You what?

BE: The whole trousers-under-a-skirt thing. Really big a while back, but... um. Anyway.

P: (disgusted) I bet you own a pink shirt, don't you.

BE: No!

P: uh-huh.

BE: It's... really more... peach.

P: (facepalm) Oh dear. You just keep digging yourself in deeper. I'm afraid your penance will be dire, my son.

BE: This is getting ridiculous. I mean, it was just a little transgression. I didn't expect the Spanish-

P: DON'T SAY IT! It's bad enough going all girly without going nerdy as well!

BE: Wait. Nerdy is bad, too?

P: You're asking for a Holy Wedgie, boy.

BE: (mutters) Beam me up, Scotty.

P: I HEARD THAT! EXCOMMUNICATION!

BE: Okay, I'm out of here. (Exits booth, heads for door)

P: (following) It's not too late! We've got the big game on pay-TV tonight! If you bring the beers, and...

BE: (exiting door) leaving now...

P: (horror) Wait, does that car have a pink stripe?

TheCar: What? Is he dissing my stripe?

BE: (sighs, gets in) Let's just get out of here.

P: (producing holy water and cross in the shape of goalposts) Avaunt! Avaunt! Aiieee!!!

BE: You know, that was kinda fun....

TheCar: Heh.


Yeah. It's been one of those wierd weeks.

So, I was browsing one of my local sells-everything-under-the-sun stores after a hard day at work and naturally gravitated towards the books section (as I do) and while wandering 'twixt the tomes, the text on the cover of one sprang out at me.
"Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy" Intrigued, I drifted closer, expecting a re-print and wondering what title it was.
"Part six of three" WHUUUUTT???

IT'S A SEQUEL! A FRIGGIN SEQUEL! ANOTHER EPISODE! *bounces, cavorts, squees*

Apparently, to celebrate the Thirtieth Anniversary, they invited Eoin Colfer (author of the Artemis Fowl books) to pen a sixth installment called "And Another Thing"
He usually writes for children but says writing this is very similar to writing for young adults, apart from less useage of the phrases "it wasn't my fault" and "none of you people get me"

Anyway, of course I bought it. Halfway through now and it's not half bad. If you've read the originals (and if not, WHY?) you'll remember in the last book everyone was about to die. Of course, Colfer is forced to save them in a highly improbable, utterly inexplicable fashion that resurrects older, forgotten characters and not only plays merry hell with plot consistency but contradicts much of what has gone before in an attempt to make things fit.

In other words, it's perfect. :)